Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
