So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
