i may or may not be watching the land before time
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
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