yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
