brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
