What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
He better not be in your backpack
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
