Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
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