Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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