i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
