Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
