I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
