i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
