I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
