wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Randomize
