I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
