If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
