No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Congratulations! We have a period
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
