they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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