Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
