I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
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