hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
