when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
And my parents said I crawled through the house
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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