You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
