Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
