she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
