Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
