Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I'm too high and old for this...
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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