She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
