My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
