Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Randomize