Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I supernannyed him into submission
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
