i don't like sucking hair
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
