she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
