I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
