Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize