I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
