I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
