Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
