I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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