the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
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