I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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