what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
