Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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