I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
