Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
