Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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