Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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