you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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