Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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