I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
