Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
