Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
